The SisterinLaw
by Suni Daughter of Moro
Summary: Jin's sister comes to visit him and his wife and two kids for the summer. Can he survive? (Note: The romance mentioned in the genre is very VERY mild)
1. Chapter 1

The Sister-in-Law

Chapter 1

"Kaze!" Hikari pinned her brother to the floor.  "Kaze!  Give me back my book!"

"Make me!" Kaze stuck out his tongue.

"If you insist, _bro!" Hikari shouted as she started twirling her fist.  "Tornado fist!"_

"Okay, okay! Take it!" Kaze handed Hikari back her diary.  He sat up and panted, waiting for his heartbeat to slow to normal again.  "Lordy, Lordy!  Me whole life flashed- like _boom- right before me eyes!"_

"Kaze! Hikari! Knock it off!" I yelled down the stairwell.  "I don't want to break up another fight!"

"Yes, mum," they replied.  Then they went back to fighting.

"I meant it!" I stood in the doorway.

"Pay attention to ye mother, kids," Jin called down, tossing an arm over my shoulder.  "She's got more muscle than the two of ye combined."

"Now Jin, you make it sound like I'm going to knock them senseless if they don't stop," I said.

"Yeah so?" he blinked.  "What wrong with a li'l bop on the head?"

"It's promoting violence!" I objected.

"Look at 'em.  Fer bein' named fer the wind an' the light, which get along so well, they sure fight a lot."

"But how do we stop it?" I asked.

"That's a real wiggle," Jin said.  He paused to think about it, then gave me a goofy smile, "Ah well! Kids'll be kids an' that's all there is too it!"

"I suppose you're right," I agreed. I looked down the stairs at Kaze and Hikari.

Kaze was the older of the two by about five minutes, seeing as they were twins, and he was the only one of the two to inherit Jin's accent.  He looked exactly like his father, save for the crystal blue eyes he inherited from me, and the fact that he was a hundred some years younger.

Hikari was, obviously, seeing as Kaze is older, the younger of the two.  She bore a strong resemblance to her Aunt Saki, who was Jin's younger sister.  Hikari's hair was messy by nature and a blue-green color just like her aunt's.  She also had her aunt's deep blue eyes, rough but friendly nature, and, unfortunately, her aunt's ADHD as well.  The only thing about her that wasn't like her aunt was the fact that she had less-pointed ears, the cause of which being her part-human nature.

I felt the grip on my shoulder tighten suddenly and I snapped from thought, turning toward Jin.  He smiled softly and I returned the smile.

"They's a lot o' trouble but ya gotta love 'em," Jin said.

"What do you say to having a couple more?" I asked him.

"Well, if that's what ya want," Jin pressed his lips to mine.

"EW!!!!" the children gagged in protest.

"Ah shut yourselves up!" Jin yelled down at them, before turning to kiss me again.

"Save that stuff for when we ain't around!" Kaze objected.

"Yeah!" Hikari agreed with her brother. 

All of a sudden the doorbell rang.

"Kaze, be a dear and get the door will you?" I asked.

"Okay mum," he said before he got up to answer the door.  Kaze disappeared into the other room and I could hear him open the door.  "Oh, top of the mornin' to ya, Aunt Saki."

"Saki!?" Jin and I shouted simultaneously, in surprise.  "She isn't supposed to be here!"

"And the rest of the day to you Kaze," Saki said, putting down her bags, which Jin and I heard her put down.

"Oh crap!  She brought her bags with her!" I said.

"Yep… that means she's here fer a long, long stay…" Jin sighed.  "And I was just startin' to think we wouldn't get a visit from 'er this summer."

Don't get me wrong, Jin and I both loved his sister but having her around wasn't exactly good.  She was excessively hyper for being completely grown, and she liked to pry into our affairs.  In fact, while she was around, it was a miracle if we could get through one night without her either listening at the door or bugging the room.  It was completely absurd and it drove us both crazy.  That's why we dreaded her visits.

Jin and I headed down the stairs to greet his sister.  Hikari had already gone into the other room to see her aunt and when we got there she was nearly squeezing the living daylights out of Saki.

"Good morning, Saki," I smiled.  "What brings you here?"

"I was paid two billion to kill you," Saki said.  Knowing full well that she really was a professional assassin, I feared for my life.  Then she laughed, "I'm kidding! I'm kidding!"

"So why are ye here, sis?" Jin queried.

"I came to spend some time with you two and your kids.  Is there a problem with that?" Saki asked.

"Yea-," I covered Jin's mouth before he could object to his sister's presence.

"Of course not!  We love having you here, sis!" I smiled.

"Uh-huh… and your hand is over my brother's mouth why?"

"Well… I uh…."

"Everyone does stupid things sometimes.  Her main stupid thing is to impulsively cover my mouth," Jin made a pitiful attempt.

"And I should believe something that stupid?" Saki narrowed her eyes.  "I may have attempted to sacrifice Alicia to the 'river god' by throwing her into the pool but I'm not that stupid."

"Well uh…" I stuttered.

"Lordy, we's already off to a bad start," Jin whispered to me.


	2. Chapter 2

The Sister-in-Law

Chapter 2

"I've gotta admit there's some down sides to having your sister around," I sighed, closing the door to the master bedroom behind me, "but it's not nice to tell her she isn't welcome."

"Isn't nice?  I'll tell ya what isn't nice!  She's already bugged our bedroom again!" Jin yelled, pointing to the bug his sister had placed on the side of the dresser.  "Then she installed tiny spy cameras in all the bedrooms and all the rooms on the first floor!  We're lucky she ain't puttin' a camera in the bathroom cause ye know she's sick enough to do it!"

"You're acting stupid!  What in the world makes you think your sister is crazy enough to put cameras in the _bathroom_?"

"You see the way she acts!" Jin insisted.

"Okay.  I'll admit there's a slim possibility.  However, I still don't think she'd do that," I said.

"An' she's like them stupid Clow Card thing the kids're always watching!  You've got to expect the unexpected from her!"

"No more Saturday morning cartoons for you," I mumbled.  "Do you realize what a paranoid freak you've turned into since I closed the door?"

"If you think it's closing the door that made me like this, then go 'head an' open it!  I still won't be any less paranoid!"

"God, you're really frazzled aren't you?  How about we go downstairs and I'll fix you a shot of whiskey?"

"I thought you told me ne'er to drink that stuff again," Jin blinked.

"There are certain cases where I deem it appropriate.  Do you want it or not?" I asked.

"Hell yeah!  Do ye really 'spect an Irish man to turn down a shot a whiskey?"

"An Irish man?  Not really.  An Irish woman?  Now that's pretty likely," I said.

"You're no less of an alcoholic than I am!" Jin snapped.

"Yeah but I have much more self-control than you do," I laughed.  "Come on."

"Say," I smiled as I pulled the bottle out of the cabinet.  "How about playing a little game?"

"A game?" Jin blinked.

"Ever heard of 'I Never'?"

"No… what the hell's that?"

"It's a very simple game.  Get me two glasses, will you?"  He got me the glasses and I poured the whiskey into one of the glasses, "Here are the basics.  The players take turns saying true statements about themselves that begin with, 'I never.'  If another player has done that, he or she has to take a drink.  Any questions?"  I put the whiskey away.

"Yeah, one," he stared at the glasses.  "Why'd ye only fill one glass?"

"Because…," I pulled out a bottle of wine, "my system can't stand heavier alcohols.  Even a few sips of wine make me tipsy."

"Then jus' stick a bit o' whiskey in a coke," Jin suggested.

"That tastes disgusting," I said.  "I'll stick with wine," I poured myself a glass of wine.  "Want me to start us off?"

"Yeah fine."

"I never… I never had any siblings in this lifetime."

Jin took a sip and smiled slyly.  I figured that meant he had every intention of making me drunk.  "I ne'er had kids."

"Then what do you call Kaze and Hikari?"

"Kids but I didn't _have 'em," Jin said, "you did."_

"Okay then," I took a sip.  "I never played football."

"Ye mean thee stupid vi'lent game ye Americans seem so fond of or what you American dolts call soccer."

"Actually… I've never technically played either."

"You ne'er played football!?"

"No… not really….  I played out in the schoolyard as a kid but the only actual position anyone played was goalie and we almost never had a single offense in a game.  It was basically just stand at opposing sides and kick a ball back and forth."

"All right then.  Down the hatch," Jin gulped down some more whiskey.  "I've ne'er kissed a guy."

"At all!?"

"Right."

"You lie!!  There's no way you've never kissed your son!"

"I ha'nt.  I've hugged 'im a lot but ne'er kissed 'im."

"Okay, if you say so," I sipped my wine.  "I've never had to play pretend that I was a Clow Card," I giggled.

"Hey, you try bein the Time Card!  It ain't fun!" Jin took in more whiskey.

"I'm sure it's not."

"Anyway I've ne'er played 'Attack of the Penguins'," Jin laughed hysterically.  "I might understand such weird behavior if you was watchin the wee ones but ye and Lex was all alone."

"We were bored!" I inhaled nearly half my glass and swallowed.

"But penguins?"

"Hey, when one of your pals goes crazy and threatens to send penguin-shaped bombs after you, you start to have penguins on the brain a lot!"

"Let's get on with it," Jin rolled his eyes.

"I've never been seen in my underwear on the front lawn," I smiled.

"And I ne'er woulda been either if you ha'nt tossed me outta the house at six in the mornin!"

"I had a good reason… I just can't remember it…."

"Alright, let's keep going.  I've ne'er kissed a member of the same sex."

"Well, considering I've kissed Hikari, I guess…," I swallowed the remaining wine in my glass and started to pour another.

"Startin ta feel tipsy?" Jin smiled slyly.

"Yes.  Actually I am starting to feel a bit…," I paused.  "God, tipsy doesn't even begin to describe what I feel like.  Strange… I still feel like I have a level head though it's spinning in circles."

"Why don't ye finish that glass an' we'll go sit on the couch an' watch TV?" he asked.

"Okay!" I gulped down the full glass.  "Let's go!"

Two hours later, Saki came back from taking the kids to the baseball field.  She found Jin and I still on the couch, asleep, lips pressed against each others.  Two seconds passed, and Saki closed the door.  She turned to the curious and confused twins and sighed, "I think we should avoid the living room.  Let's go in the back way."

Instantly, the twins understood.  Aunt Saki was more adverse to anything romantic than they were.  This told them that, if it were anything more than a single kiss, Saki would have thrown up.  That's just the way she was.


	3. Chapter 3

The Sister-in-Law

Chapter 3

"Saki! Saki! Where'd you get to now!?" I checked under the table.

"Somethin lost, love?" Jin asked as he entered the room.

"Yes, as a matter of fact there is something missing!  Is your sister still a two-year-old or something!?" I demanded.

"No why?"

"She and the kids decided to play hide and seek!  When it was her turn to seek she pulled a Houdini!"

"Houdini?" Jin blinked.  "What in the hell's 'a Houdini'?"

"It's when you disappear, vanish, go poof, fade, flee…" I answered.

"Did ye check in the liquor cabinet?" Jin asked nervously.

"She wouldn't!  She's too young!" I stared at the cabinet- the lock was missing.

"She would.  She doesn't care that she's too young," Jin sighed.

"You really think?" I asked, placing a hand on the cabinet's handle.

"Pull," Jin insisted.

I threw open the liquor cabinet, "Empty… all that's in here are the empty liquor bottles."

"She's a wiz when it comes to pickin' locks…"

"Where do you think she is now?" I asked, fearing what the answer would be.

"Suff'rin' fro' a hango'er in the bathroom," Jin replied.

"That's not a hangover Jin," I started leading him up the stairs, in search of his sister.  "A hangover happens the day after."

"Really?  I thought a hango'er was anythin' tha' happened as 'n after-effect o' the alcohol," Jin blinked.

Sure enough, we found Saki in the upstairs bathroom.  She was clearly sick to her stomach.  Who wouldn't be after drinking five bottles of whiskey, two and a half wine bottles, a couple beers, and three and a quarter bottles of tequila?  The random combination alone was enough to make you vomit.

"You okay sis?" I asked her.  She nodded weakly.  "I think this ranks up there with the moldy olives incident."

"Yep. Sure does," Saki groaned.

"Here take these- they'll help your stomach settle," I offered her two pills.  She snatched them from me and gulped them down.

"Moldy olives?" Jin queried.

"Oh yeah… that happened when you weren't around.  Your sister ate a jar of moldy olives and got very sick."

"They tasted good…" Saki countered.

"Anyway, maybe this incident'll teach ya to stay out of locked cabinets?"

"Yeah yeah—Ow!"

After smacking Saki across the head, I looked down on her with a slight frown, "Listen to your brother for once.  This may surprise you, but Jin actually _can _be right."

"What do ye mean 'can'!?" Jin shouted.

"Calm down," I smiled at him and waved my hand in dismissal.  "I didn't mean you were stupid.  It's just that, between siblings, they typically believe themselves to always be right and the other to always be wrong."

"I'm afraid I don' believe ya," Jin folded his arms over his chest and looked away.

"Jin!" I yelled.  "I'm telling you the truth!"

"Please… keep it down…" Saki groaned.  "I think I'm in the hangover stage and I have a major headache."

"A hangover happens the day after, Saki," I insisted.  "Jin, what's wrong with your family?  You're all alcoholics and you don't know what a hangover is!"

"Ya don' need to know what it's called to suffer fro' it," he raised a finger.

"In my family, you learn what a hangover is when you learn to count," I sighed, "and my family is alcoholic but we Maxwells tend to stay away from the alcohol."

"Hey… where ar' the kids?" Jin suddenly asked.

"I'm not sure… why do you ask?" I looked at him quizzically.

"They's aw'ly silent, ain't they?"

"Yes.  They must be doing something they shouldn't."

"What makes you so sure they aren't napping or something?" Saki asked.

"When you're around, all they do is misbehave," I answered flatly.  It was true.  Last time Saki was over, the kids tried to launch a homemade rocket off the roof... we were still paying off the loan we took out to fix the whole…

Surprisingly, the children were not misbehaving.  We found them on the couch in the basement watching Nickelodeon reruns.  Still, that didn't change that fact that life with Saki around was about to get worse…


End file.
